Looking for revelation in the painting, I focus on a couple areas that have drawn my attention. The first area is around the black dot in the upper left quadrant. There is a burst of lighter color around the dark orb which forms and intriguing pattern as it moves out from dark. The lightness dissipates to the right and begins to mingle with the darker blue. The blue seems to have more weight, solid or grounded on the canvas. The lighter almost white seems to dance a bit, floating on the canvas.
Internally, as I turn my observation to my own reflection, I notice parts of me are solid, grounded. I recognize the part of me that holds values such as honor, responsibility, and service. These things I learned from my family, but they were emblazoned on my character during my time at West Point. It is solid, yet quietly forms the foundation of who I am.
The lighter part of my character is the resilient heart that loves artmaking, conversation, and community. The buoyant part of my character is just as essential as the foundation. Recognizing and embracing both parts of myself, I can more freely be who I am meant to be.
Another area of the painting that has drawn my attention is in the lower left quadrant, near where the red paint meets the blue. The underlying brush strokes reveal a lot of energy underneath the veil. It is not so visible when looking at the painting as a whole, perceptible just enough to catch my eye.
How is this aspect of the painting reflected in my inner being? To the casual observer, I am quiet and calm for the most part. But there is always something moving within me, a thought, a prayer, angst, or joy. Sometimes I let it roam around all over inside before I let a portion, very rarely all of it, be expressed outwardly. Sometimes, I hold it deep inside too long, causing harm to myself or others when it explodes or eats me internally. I am learning to hold myself more lightly, let the energy reveal itself as a creative force. Perhaps the energy is not so visible, but it holds the integrity of my expression until I discern the best form in which to channel it.
My desire is to trust more my artmaking. I believe in the artmaking I come to know myself, and in knowing myself more, I create art.